Happy

I'm happy.

Cos I finished 2 tax computations already.

One more on hand which is 70% completed.

Another one to finish... and that's lots more!

One more advisory work to do.

Woo hoo...

Less stressed already.

So that's only 3 on hand now.

Yeay!

bex

Frustration

This is going to be another whiny post.

During my studies for ACCA, i was rather miserable.
Cos I felt that I was not enjoying my life.
Constant stress.
Lack of sleep.
Lack of food.
Lack of rest.
Gave up a lot of things - social life, movies, hanging out, tv, sleep, dates, internet.
Almost everything.
All my time and attention just to study so that I wouldn't fail.
I kept thinking "It would be all over once I finish ACCA. Then i can have the life i've always wanted".
Actually, I think i said the same thing during SPM...then STPM.
The cycle repeated at ACCA.
Now I've finished ACCA.. by the grace of God who somehow pulled me through.
Even when I gave up, He never did.
But I see the same cycle repeating.
At work.
Having to give up many things again.
Just to work.
It makes me think "Is this what I want in life?"
I don't want to waste my youth away.
Yet, if I don't strive for something, I feel meaningless.
So, it's an internal struggle again.
I know that if i settle for a simpler job with lower pay, I will be envious of my more successful friend.
But I do long for a simple life.
Maybe i'm just tired now.
Dad keeps warning me not to get burnt out.
But I feel burnt out.
Maybe cos I push myself too hard.
Keep expecting too much out of myself.
I'm so afraid that my life is slipping out of my hands.

Last Sunday, i treated myself to breakfast at Old Town before coming in for breakfast.
On the tv, there were snippets of wise sayings.
Let me paraphrase one of it.
"Life is like a coin. Don't let someone else spend it for you"
Got me thinking.
Am i letting others dictate how i should live?
I want to enjoy life as how God made it to be.

Oh God... I need you.
Jesus, sweet Jesus, I need you so much.

Bex

Tired and Angry

I'm so dazed.
Tired and angry.
I'm already up to my limits with work.
But it still keeps coming in.
I am grateful for the exposure and experience.
But I'm just so tired.
Before I can finish one, another comes in.
It just feels so unfair.

Shut up and let me whine.

I'm really tired.
I can't think straight.

I had to take MC just to sleep yesterday.
And the panel doc would not give me an MC.
Saying I had no valid reason.
What the?
I was unfit for work duty.. cos I'm over exhausted.

Even when I was sleeping at home, i still get calls from the office.

I took double valiums yesterday.
In a span on 8 hours.
Just so that I could sleep.

Saw another doc.
Got an MC.

Requested for sleeping pills.
Could see that he was empathetic with my situation.
Gave me drowsy pills so that i can sleep.

Someone just passed me another file.
This afternoon, senior asked me to help her with another tax revision.

I'm tired.
So very tired.

bex

Cravings

I've been craving for food.
No, I'm not pregnant.
There is not even a slightest chance in that.

Today, I want ice cream.
Normally a simply McD ice cream would be enough.
But no.
Not today.
Today I want Thornton's icecream.
And that is something I cannot get.
Well, unless someone ships if from UK.
But by that time, there will be no more ice cream.

Maybe a cake will do..
Hmmph.

Stress makes people fat.
I agree.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Solo and I are really stressed out bout finding money for the house.
We need 5% come September.
RM 15,000 in 2 months.

Oh God, please provide!
We believe that we were not lead to the house by chance.
Nothing is impossible for you.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hungry.
Food .... food!!

bex
And we continue to trust in you.

Sunday... and in office

It's 10.51 pm.
I'm alone in office.
Tired.
Still lots to do.
Throat hurts.
I think i'm sick.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Solo and I bought a house!



Well..it's not really ours yet.
Just booked it.
Cos it's not launched yet.
Hehe. =)
One step closer to marriage. =)

Bex