Claustophobic?

So I spent a night in the hospital.
I expected it to be a relaxing 2 days where I can catch up on my reading.
Or perhaps organise all my photos from Sheffield which I took a YEAR ago and have not been touched ever since I returned to Malaysia.
Or perhaps listen to the sermon that Cheng Yee gave me.
Nopes.
None of that happened.

Reached the hospital at 8.15am.
Went to my room by 8.30am.
Waited for the nurses to take me down to the radiology department for my scan.
That's when my nightmare began.

Had to change it a gown.. which I couldn't figure out how to tie.
I asked the nurse for assistance.
Her answer "dear...just tie it in anyway. as long as you are confortable and it doesn't fall off".
So.. i just looped the it around.
Felt like a nun.

Then came the MRI.
She pushed me into the machine and told me not to move.
Actually I didn't have any space to move.
My head was cushioned at the sides giving me no space to move.
30 minutes only she said.

How hard can that be right>
Just close my eyes and sleep.
Dont' move? no problem!

So wrong!
After 10 mins, I was starting to fidget.
The machine had noises and they were just giving me a headache.
I was so tempted to press the emergency button cos I couldn't take it.
I had to force myself to think of highlands...parks... beach.
The more I forced myself to think, the more painful my head.
And then my stomach began to feel queasy.
Not good.
A little more.
Just hang it there.
Think of Solomon.
Think of Bobby.

Finally, I couldn't take it.
I was about to press the button to call the technician when I heard to door open!
Phew!
Relief!

Changed into my clothes and hurriedly walked back to my ward.
And then the vomitting began.
A total of 3 times.
Nauseous the whole day until 11pm when I tried to sleep.
When I finally dosed off, there was this man who was screaming at the top of his lungs.
Arguing with every single nurse.
And the nurses were shouting at him in return.
Somehow, I managed to doze off.
Only to be woken up every 2 hours by the nurses to check for body temperature and blood pressure.
I'm fine!
I'm not sick!
I'm only here so that my insurance would pay for my expenses!
Bah!

So...after all that pain and aguish, I've got good and bad news.
MRI shows a perfectly normal vascular system.
that means nothing wrong with my blood vessels.
One possible cause ruled out.

Doc said maybe it's my sinus blockage.
Did a second nose scope.
Nopes...not that.

At this point, he said "I honestly do not know what is wrong with you".
"Take some valium at night so you can rest.
I'll give you MC for a week. Just take a break. Are you stressed?"
Me : NO! I have very good stress management... (I think!).
Doc : Come back next week and let's see if you still hear them. Try ignoring it. Our brains are very powerful. It exaggerates.
Me : Ok..

So.. yea.. going back next week.
I still hear the sounds.
Sometimes even in the office.
It's more 'wooshing' now. Like wind in a cave.
Especially when I bend down.
And at nights.
But I've found an angle where I can sleep without hearing it.
It's just annoying to be greeted every morning by 'dut-dut... dut-dut'.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Bobby's skin is getting better.
He's so adorable..

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Wathced Transformers.
2 times!
Entertaining.

bex

A night in the hospital

I'll be staying in Sunway Medical Centre for a night tomorrow (Monday).
No.. nothing serious.
No one died either.
I just need to do a MRA for my ear.
Went for follow up on saturday and the pulse is still there.
So the doc has ordered an MRA (something like MRI).
For insurance purposes, I would need to stay for a night.
I'm gonna be so bored... cos i'm not sick!
I just have this 'pulsatile tinnitus'.

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I've said yes for the Sarawak mission trip! =)

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My dog (Bobby) has pimples!
Yikes!
A visit to the vet today just costed me (actually..my family. it's a family dog....so everyone must share the cost right??) RM 87!!!
His shampoo alone was RM 42!!!
That's twice the amount im paing for MY own shampoo!!
And then there's his antibiotics..
Sigh..
Like i'm not broke enough already.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Happy Father's Day!
Haven't celebrated it yet cos daddy is busy in office working out his taxes.
No, i can't help cos i'm still a useless tax consultant.

Bex

Friday!

It's Friday!

Happy!


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God works in very strange ways.
Or He likes eavesdropping into my THOUGHTS!
(Which I don't quite mind.. well, unless i'm thinking not-your-average-clean-thoughts).

When Justin told me bout a mission trip to Sarawak 2 months ago, I had the inclination to go.
I just brushed it off.
Cos I will have classes then, I will have no money, I've already gone for the last mission trip to Thailand.
All kind of excuses la!

I was thinking bout it few days ago again.
Not heavy thinking.
But the thought would just pass by.
And it's like this nagging thing that you have.
But as usual, I brushed it off giving all kind of excuses.
(In retrospect, no wonder I decided not to continue studying - so that got more time and money to other things that matter more)

Yesterday, Justin just emailed me and asked if I wanted to go.
Out of the blue!

See, what struck me as strange is that I've not been telling anyone bout my toughts at all!

I still haven't given him my final answer.
Cos I'm pending Solomon's decision on whether he's taking me for holiday in August.
But I think God's hand is on this mission trip and He's paving a way for me to go.

God, you are so strange... but I love You for it!

bex

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After I wrote this post, I went to my daily devotion website (http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php).

And this is the devotion for the day!

The wind really was boisterous and the waves really were high, but Peter didn’t see them at first. He didn’t consider them at all; he simply recognized his Lord, stepped out in recognition of Him, and "walked on the water." Then he began to take those things around him into account, and instantly, down he went. Why couldn’t our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves, as well as on top of them? He could have, yet neither could be done without Peter’s continuing recognition of the Lord Jesus.

We step right out with recognition of God in some things, then self-consideration enters our lives and down we go. If you are truly recognizing your Lord, you have no business being concerned about how and where He engineers your circumstances. The things surrounding you are real, but when you look at them you are immediately overwhelmed, and even unable to recognize Jesus. Then comes His rebuke, ". . . why did you doubt?" ( Matthew 14:31 ). Let your actual circumstances be what they may, but keep recognizing Jesus, maintaining complete reliance upon Him.

If you debate for even one second when God has spoken, it is all over for you. Never start to say, "Well, I wonder if He really did speak to me?" Be reckless immediately— totally unrestrained and willing to risk everything— by casting your all upon Him. You do not know when His voice will come to you, but whenever the realization of God comes, even in the faintest way imaginable, be determined to recklessly abandon yourself, surrendering everything to Him. It is only through abandonment of yourself and your circumstances that you will recognize Him. You will only recognize His voice more clearly through recklessness— being willing to risk your all.

Faith.. even the slightest.
Not dismissing God even if it's the faintest.
Eh God, how you know I will be reading it today?
How did you know to place it there to coincide with my thoughts and small little struggle in trusting you!?
Seriously... God, you are strange...
But now.. I love you even more!

Bex

Give me a restraining order... NOW!

Nichii is having sale..
Starting today.
Up to 70% off.
I is want to go... NOW!
When would money start to grow on trees?

Bex

Credit Crunch

Read http://shobanjraveen.blogspot.com/ on his 'Credit Crunch' (16 June) entry.

It would put things in a different light. =)