Needs and wants

I want so many things.
One of them is to travel and start MY own life.
But to be honest, I think I don't have the guts.
I want to go out.
Gain from the forex.
But I can't.
Who will continue the work here if everyone leaves?
It's not my work but His.
I'm at His disposal.
Maybe i'm not needed.
If that's the case, why am I so reluctant to go?
It's hard.
The mind wants something but the hearts wants something else.
Fear i think.

I miss Norfolk park and the smell of the grass.